OK, that’s it for my ability to rhyme. But retailers sure are excited that this December brings an extra weekend of shopping. So, complements of Dave Ramsey, here are nine kinds of Christmas shoppers:
The ‘Oh Darn!’ Shopper: Someone who just realized he didn’t get anything for his wife yet and never did order that fancy whatyamacall it for his son. You can spot him by the confused expression and borderline panic mode. Give him room – he’s quite desperate.
Miss October: Ah, a shopper who’s way ahead of the game. She finished shopping more than a month ago. I know, because I’ve seen the Facebook posts to proclaim that. You won’t see her in the stores, but if you do know her, don’t be envious – just ask her for organizational advice.
The Repeat Offender: This is someone making their 8th trip to the mall because they keep forgetting this or that. Eventually they’ll get it all…and then forget the wrapping paper…
The Online Shopper: This person was in a store once about two years ago, but it was just too much information, no time to think or research, and too busy. He hasn’t been in a store since, settling for the 21” computer screen, a couple of clicks, and hoping the stuff will get here in time.
The Scattershot: This person is like my cat playing with this and that, then this, then getting sidetracked again. Oh look, that’d be great, so would this and that, and look over here….I’ll take them all!
Mr. Platic Fantastic: This person really never sees the actual inside of a store but just hangs around the front cashier purchasing 23 gift card in five minutes. Nothing says ‘I thought this through and made it special’ more than a gift card. But Christmas shopping did get done in eight minutes.
The Mall Rat: Everyone knows this person because they’re constantly in the mall, just not getting paid to be there. They’re not homeless or lost – just wander around endlessly. Christmas is a great time to spend in the mall, touching stuff, looking, wandering the isle and maybe eventually buying something…sometime…soon…
Mr. Road Rage: OK, the pressure is on, time is short, and everybody needs to get out of his way. You can already spot him in the parking lot cutting people off, trying to cut into the cashier lineups, and generally upping everyone’s stress level and sucking the Christmas spirit out of everybody.
The Heroic Mom: This Christmas shopper goes to the mall on weekdays only. You can spot her with two to four kids in tow. She’s answering her cell, feeding her youngest one, rounding up the wandering oldest, and talking to the cashier at the same time without breaking a sweat. She’s been known to purchase 17 presents, cards, and wrapping paper inside of an hour, on a fixed budget while reading the Christmas story to her kids and moving swiftly through the mall. THAT qualifies for the Christmas shopping hall of fame while her husband is in one of the other categories, and best not left to go out on his own.